There are universal and biological truths we must come to terms with. A man will never become a woman. A woman can never become a man. A teen can’t turn into an adult because they believe themselves to be older. An elderly person can’t turn into a twenty-five year old because they never aged inside, etc.. Knowing these truths we should not only learn to live with them, but turn them into positives. Embrace them. Become empowered and emboldened by them! You see, sometimes what we want, and how we feel, doesn’t match up with our physical appearance and/or capabilities! This isn’t specific to those with “gender dysphoria.” Point being sometimes who we think we are inside doesn’t match the outside, and sometimes this is fluid and changes over time. Most people, however, don’t take drastic -and often hurtful measures- to change their physical selves to “match” their internal feelings. I will argue in this post, based on statistics, that children pre-puberty should be encouraged to wait before taking such drastic measures. Not encouraged by parents and doctors to make life long, and life altering, decisions.
“Do we instinctively know that “covering up” what we don’t like about ourselves isn’t truly solving the issue?”
Instead we parents should address the root of the issue. We need to help our children realize they are unique, not bound to societal and cultural norms, and beautiful as they are. Our first answer shouldn’t ever point to “correcting” something “wrong” with our children. It gives the idea that there is something “wrong” needing to be fixed. Obviously I’m not talking about medical abnormalities. I’m clearly talking aesthetics so as to not get anyone in a tizzy. For example, we don’t say to the curvy girl who will never be a size “0,” “get a tummy staple,” to the curly-haired girls, “use a straightener,” to the freckle faces, “have laser treatment for those freckles,” to the small breasted women, “go get a breast augmentation,” and the list could go on and on. Why instead do we teach, “be yourself,” and “love yourself?” Do we instinctively know that “covering up” what we don’t like about ourselves isn’t truly solving the issue? Or that our physical appearance is not what defines us anyway?
“80 percent to 95 percent of pre-pubertal children with GD will experience resolution by late adolescence if not exposed to social affirmation and medical intervention.”
Then enters the idea of transgenderism. With any other “physical drawback” (especially those with extreme health risks involved) a parent would reaffirm the child, teach them to embrace themselves as who they were born to be–not who they wish to be, etc.. Instead, in today’s culture we have parents jumping too quickly into surgery, hormone replacement treatment, and other drastic measures “for” their children. Jumping to life altering decisions even before puberty when the “American College of Pediatrics” states, “80 percent to 95 percent of pre-pubertal children with GD (Gender Dysphoria) will experience resolution by late adolescence if not exposed to social affirmation and medical intervention.” (https://www.acpeds.org/the-college-speaks/position-statements/gender-dysphoria-in-children). Did you catch that? Parent’s are often “driving the train” with “social affirmations.” Even to the point that the above article also states hormone treatment clinics are opening at higher rates due to “parent demand; not evidence-based medicine.” I didn’t even know what I wanted to be in college and that changed even into adulthood. It’s ever-changing! But imagine making a decision at eleven years old that would leave you sterile. Imagine deciding on a surgery that left you numb in your genitalia. Then being encouraged to do so by an adult! How is this even legal?! Much less celebrated.
So a child tells a parent, “I think I’m a boy, I like to wear pants and not dresses, short hair, and I would prefer standing to pee,” and parents then immediately encourage their “transgender child” into culturally defined gender norms in the OPPOSITE direction! This baffles me! Culture defines these guidelines, don’t people see that?! I have another blog on Gender Roles if that helps. The above link also points to “gender” as a social construct apart from “biological sex,” so if there is “dysphoria” it was introduced to the child. In other words, “boys don’t play with dolls,” “girls have long hair,” etc.. So what if your daughter likes short hair. Cut her hair! She likes to shop in the “boy” department, so? To me that makes her a girl who likes short hair and comfortable gym clothes. That does NOT make her a boy. Anyway, read the gender blog. Today I want to speak to the root of the matter.
There are a few “roots” to this matter. I believe these to be self-esteem, self-confidence, and what I will call “the grass is greener on the other side” complex. The issue is two-fold:
- He/she hasn’t accepted and been affirmed for who they are. He/she hasn’t been embraced for who they are and come to terms with that. So they dream of being someone else. They then start the thought process of, “my life would be better if I didn’t have a penis.” “my life would be better if I had a penis” or whatever the case may be. In other words they glorified the other sex and became obsessed with believing the other sex is who they most identify with.
- They have never been the other sex, and honestly will never be, so it truly is what I will call “the grass is greener on the other side” complex. “If I can become _______ then I’ll be happy.” When you’ve never experienced the hormones of the other sex, the feelings of the other sex, the thoughts, the sexual stimulation, etc. then how do you know you wish to be the other sex?! Did you know there are actually a lot of physical, hormonal, and physiological differences between the sexes? If not, look it up. But the point is you can’t understand unless you’ve literally “walked a mile in their shoes.” No amount of surgery and hormone replacement can do that for you. It isn’t the same.
It is no wonder the suicide rate is so much higher in transgender individuals! I found this startling statistic several times on different sites. Here it is: 41% of transgender individuals have attempted suicide!!! Look it up if you don’t believe me (some sites in the UK actually say 48% but I was being conservative). Here is one reference (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/facts-about-suicide ) . Oh and guess who gets the blame for this? People who don’t affirm transgender individuals, of course! People have to point the finger and blame someone I guess. But they really should be pointing at themselves. Let me shed some light on this issue and see if you notice the true underlying problem.
“Did you know that women who have undergone breast augmentation have higher rates of attempted suicide?”
Did you know that women who have undergone breast augmentation have higher rates of attempted suicide? Again there are several studies so look them up, but I’ll get you started here: https://www.livescience.com/1001-breast-implants-linked-higher-suicide-rate.html . So using the logic of the “trans affirming” folks you have to ask, are these women suicidal because they are being mocked and ridiculed for their new breasts? No, actually researches in the above linked study attributed to, “low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and more frequent mental illnesses such as depression.” They found similar results with others who underwent plastic surgery.
Surprised? I’m not. So why is there a disconnect? Why is there this culture shaming that tries to persuade us into believing that we (non affirming of the transgender movement) are the ones driving these people to their deaths? Lets stop this nonsense because it truly isn’t helping anyone! The truth of the matter is these transgender people never loved themselves. They never accepted themselves as they were, and they glorified the other sex while obsessing about becoming the opposite sex. Then surgeries and hormone therapies commenced and many are still weren’t happy (thus the high suicide rate)! Why? Because it isn’t a matter of your physical appearance:
no stretch marks
It is a matter of LOVING YOURSELF AS YOU ARE–WHO YOU ARE!
“You can’t look at someone else’s life and say, “I want that” but not truly understand what it is to BE that!”
Yes, someone is now going to “awaken” me and tell me that actually trans people are the opposite sex “trapped” in the wrong body. Or in the proper terms these are people who don’t “identify” with their birth sex. To which I ask, “how do they know?!” They’ve never been the opposite sex! It’s like me saying I identify as an African-American because I read a lot about it and I understand their culture and experience. I’m sorry but that is offensive and I realize that. But these same “woke” people who realize the offense of this still believe it’s o.k. for a girl to transition to a boy, or boy to a girl. People destroyed Rachel Dolezal (the white girl who identified as black), but I have to ask the obvious here…..what is the difference? How can you affirm one and not the other? Honest question.
The bottom line is transgender people HAVE NEVER BEEN AND WILL NEVER BE the opposite sex, and I personally find it offensive that a man believes he can tuck in his penis, put on a dress, and understand what it is like to be female! Brains, hormones, bodies, etc. are all different and we all know “synthetic” hormones don’t always do the trick. Just ask a woman whose been induced vs. one whose gone into natural labor. Hormone therapies are experimental at best! This, again, is the crux of the issue. You can’t look at someone else’s life and say, “I want that” but not truly understand what it is to BE that! Synthetic hormones will only get you so far and will bring on a host of other issues to include cancers, strokes, infertility, and much more.
What we truly need to teach our kids to do is be happy, satisfied, and confident in who they are; who they were born to be. Instead of throwing band aid after band aid on a journey that will never fully be completed.
Extra reads for information:
American College of Pediatrics:
Also, I found this thread line to be incredibly interesting. It is transgender people speaking of detransitioning. I believe it to be interesting, and quite sad, because these are real life stories. People who transitioned with numbness from surgery, horrible time on hormone therapies, and no correction of dysphoria. If you don’t want to take my word for it then just read these raw truths: