Now, I’m not saying that we start policing houses and bedrooms. We shouldn’t all turn into the morality gestapo and beat down the doors of people having lewd promiscuous sex; but what I am saying is that there SHOULD be a standard. There should be a “normal.” This “normal” would be enforced simply through social stigma. Yes, like in the “old” days. Today it’s popular to call anyone who disagrees with our immorality a “bigot” or a “prude.” Nobody wants to be called such a thing, and be ostracized, so we’ve adopted the “well if you aren’t hurting me it’s o.k. mentality.” Let me just point out a few issues with this mentality. I’ll give a few examples in the following paragraphs.
I watched a segment from a talk show the other day about a sex doll (it came up in my newsfeed). Heads up sex doll brothels are opening up in other countries (just an interesting side-note). Anyway, the hosts made statements like, “well, what IS normal anyway?” and “as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else I don’t care.” These statements cemented in my mind the problem with our culture. We are too afraid to define “normal” because it could hurt someone else. It might be…….. offensive <GASP>! Even though we know certain actions could become dangerous, even disastrous, we look the other way because “it’s their life and we don’t judge.”
For one, we should define “hurting someone else,” because I would argue that the selfish pursuit of sexual gratification, and avoidance of another human being for an act that should be mutually satisfying IS a little disconcerting. Why? Because avoiding human contact and intimacy shows a lack of personal connection to people. This lack of personal connection can lead not only to self harm but the harm of others. Some of the brothels are reporting “rape fantasies” and “child pedophilia” fantasies. You could argue that “well if they are acting it out on a doll then they won’t act it out on a person.” OR you might wonder, “how long will the doll be satisfying until they turn on a person?” Either way we see the true ROOT of the problem is a psychological one. It isn’t that having sex with a doll on occasion, or masturbation with whatever, is inherently “wrong” for a worldly person, it’s the psychological reason as to WHY a person would choose a doll over a human being. Maybe they are only hurting themselves in this situation, but maybe not? Time will tell.
It is also fairly obvious to me that having sex with a doll instead of a woman changes a few dynamics. What happens when it is determined we don’t “need” one another? Men don’t need women; women don’t need men, and marriage is replaced by porn and sex dolls? I’ll tell you, our culture will suffer. Gradually we will become more and more selfish and we will grow old alone. We will live only to please ourselves to whatever means necessary. Other humans become a burden and a nuisance, and so do children. Compassion falls to the wayside as we turn to technology more and more, and we put work ahead of family because our dreams take precedence.
“we tend to rationalize “hurting” someone else!”
The second problem with this mentality is we tend to rationalize “hurting” someone else. The lines can be blurred in varying degrees. For instance, many in the porn industry are there via sex trafficking and/or addicted to drugs. But wait, isn’t it “hurting someone else” to keep another in the porn industry? Or do many rationalize it; pretend not to know? Another more disturbing example, since it deals with children, is a current study just come out this year (2017) concluding there are “no long-term effects of child-adult sex.” WHAT?! Was my first reaction. Is this true? Yes, it’s true that there was such a study: Link . I don’t want to drag on with the details, but above is the link if you would like to research it. My point I’ll present in a question, “who determines hurting someone else?” Do Psychological studies? If so, how many until we accept it as truth? Or is it to be left up to the individual, Hollywood, or society maybe? In todays culture you jut slip it into a magazine, normalize it in a few T.V. shows and voila it’s “ok” for all, and if you don’t celebrate it you’re a bigot. When you speak against it you’ll be ostracized and bullied. Who are you to judge?
“how people live their lives, morally, does indeed matter.”
Let’s look at a few more tangible arguments for my point; that how people live their lives, morally, does indeed matter. If men and women no longer see the need to marry, children will, undoubtedly, grow up more often in fatherless homes. Why? Because people are still having casual sex and women take on the GREAT responsibility of “growing” human beings. Subsequently women feel the very strong urge to care and love the child forever–no matter what. It is a mothers instinct to care for her child, so she will bear the burden alone if necessary. Men don’t always feel this responsibility if they aren’t “involved” with the mother. Check out census.gov for the following statistic:
“Of the 11 million families with children under age 18, and no spouse present, the majority are single mothers (8.5 million). Single fathers comprise the remaining 2.5 million single parent families.”
So I’m not saying there aren’t single fathers out there. I’m simply saying most single parents are mothers, and statistics back me up here big time!
Let’s now look at some facts of single parent homes:
- The majority of serial killers are from broken homes. Whether that be single parent, adoption, multiple step dads, physical/emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and the like
- 63% of youth suicides are from single parent homes
- 75% of chemical dependent children in hospitals are single parent homes
- 37% of families led by single mothers live in poverty
- More than 1/2 incarcerated youths lived in one parent homes as children
I could go on and on with statistics but the fact is that as we deviate from “normal” our society suffers. We should define “normal” by what is healthiest for the members of society. Two parent homes are best for the upbringing of children. The fact that we don’t have more two parent homes is due much in part to sexual deviancy. As you can see what happens behind closed doors DOES matter. How many divorces you have, how man sexual partners you have, and how much porn you watch could be lumped into “your business,” but in reality you ARE hurting other people. Or at the very least you could be addicted to porn because of an underlying issue. This might manifest itself in anger, aggression, mistreatment of women, and even -at the extreme- mass murder.
When a generation grows up morally corrupt it does affect everyone. The kids grow up and vote, they become lawyers, they become lawmakers, they police our streets, join our military, etc.. Can we all agree that a “bad” cop is one who is morally bankrupt? A morally bankrupt person doesn’t mind lying, planting evidence to advance a cause, or get pay outs instead of putting away “bad guys.” Without integrity our world falls apart on every level! The generation who is handed everything becomes self serving and entitled. Now do you see how the cycle works?! See how our CHOICES matter? They seem insignificant, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. We need each other! The weak and the strong alike need one another. We aren’t individuals gliding through this life alone. Our actions individually affect everyone else.
“It doesn’t affect you, and you don’t care, until it does affect you, and then it’s sometimes too late!”
Finally, the mass murder of 59 people in Vegas is another example of a “whale of a problem” lurking beneath the surface. Nobody cared that Paddock was out sleeping with prostitutes, acting out rape fantasies, cheating on his girlfriend, and gambling. Meh, who cares it’s “his” life right and the prostitutes were willing. Now we have psychologists and everyone else suddenly caring that he had prostitutes. Physical manifestations, like abusing prostitutes, have deeper roots into psychological PROBLEMS. Just like all the school killings as of recent. Nobody cares that the kids were playing violent morally deprived video games, learning to cuss and verbally abuse people, grow up in a broken home, and have no personal relationships with actual people, until they go shoot up a school. They can’t separate game vs. reality, and they have no compassion for people because they aren’t involved in interpersonal relationships that teach compassion and empathy. Before the chant was, “do what makes you happy, who am I to judge?” Then something horrible happens and we become mighty “judgey” analyzing and picking apart every aspect of their lives. It doesn’t affect you, and you don’t care, until it does affect you, and then it’s sometimes too late! When will you care? When should we start acting like a village again instead of individuals in self gratifying pursuit? When will we start calling wrong wrong and right right? Hopefully before it is too late.
Helpful links and sources:
http://lib.post.ca.gov/Publications/Building%20a%20Career%20Pipeline%20Documents/Safe_Harbor.pdf
http://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-changes-the-brain/
https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/socialissues/marriage/marriage/30-years-of-research
http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2017/09/20057/
https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2016/cb16-192.html
girloutofthebox 