Of course when you post a blog about something such as Faith God is going to test what you wrote right? Well that is the way it seems to happen to me. This blog post is just my thoughts as I work through them.
Dad is in surgery right now. The day after I wrote that last blog on faith we found out that dad had a tumor. They say it’s malignant. They say it hasn’t spread, but surgery has been going on now for 5 hours and they say it won’t be over until 4:30. They say to pray. What does that mean?! Believe me I’m praying, but that’s gnawing at my brain. Pray. Yes, of course but does that mean something is wrong? Is it worse? The unknown is what kills me, but this is where faith comes in. Faith takes a superhuman effort. You pray to God for more faith and He can give it to you. It’s like leaping into the unknown but expecting God to catch you when you fall. That at least is where I want to be. I want to be right there in His arms. No matter what happens to me, my family, my life I want to have faith that He is there with me. I feel Him all around me although it’s hard to express into words that peace that everything will be fine. My flesh wants to run away with the notion that something is wrong, but that is not the truth. God is in control of all things. God is the creator and orchestrator of all things. There is no reason to be anxious because it won’t change the outcome. We just have to have faith that no matter the outcome there is a purpose. I know I know, when you hear cancer, tumor, death you don’t want to think that there is a purpose, but this is assuming that this earth is all we have. That once life is over here it is over. This, however, is not the case. There is eternal life. God has created us eternal beings! This is why we fear death, because everything in us screams that we are not supposed to die. We aren’t MADE to die. Death came upon us because of sin, but Jesus conquered death. We see that He was raised from the dead after three days and we can have hope that He can also raise us from the dead. That there should be no fear in death! I’m thankful for my dad’s faith in this because he does not fear death. Although I fear losing him I know that I’ll see Him again. This hope is what keeps me going. I have faith that no matter the outcome it is what is best. If God gives dad many more years it is for a purpose, and if God chooses to take him then I will see it as sparing him from the evil in this world. Everything, however, is for God’s glory. I will keep the faith in that!
I told God I would praise Him all my days for showing His hand already in this circumstance. Dad, the doctors, and my family have all seen God moving in amazing ways. From being admitted to the hospital with symptoms the surgeon said he’s never seen anyone actually admitted for (usually it’s a much longer process to get admitted), to dad being able to identify exactly what the problem was (said he heard from God and knew), to testing done immediately, to getting a room in a full capacity hospital –the nurse said they were turning people away and she wasn’t sure how dad got his room–, to surgery within two weeks of being admitted, and many other things, I have seen God opening doors. I will continue to praise Him, because He deserves the praise.
I just got a text from my mom. They said the surgery was supposed to last until 4:30 just 30 minutes ago, but now the doctor called and said it was done. It went well! I can’t wait to hear more, but these are my thoughts as I wait. I want everyone reading this to know that there is life after death. I have 100% faith in this, and if you believe in Jesus, that God sent him to die for our sins–to live a sinless life– and be the perfect sacrifice for us so that we didn’t have to suffer the consequences of our own sin, and raised him from the dead in three days you will be saved! Romans 10:9 says, “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Faith is something we do. Faith is living life as if the above statement is 100% truth. Faith is a difficult walk, but to me it is worth it for the promise of things to come.
I hope to have good news by the end of the day. Until then I put my trust in God!